Category Archives: Capriciously Random Spontaneous Sporadic Things

I’m in Chicago

I’m in Chicago and I’m people-hungry (not literally, not like the zombie apocalypse guy). I mean I’m new to the city and I’d like to find some things to do and have the pleasure of meeting the exciting people of Chicago. I want to unravel this city and feast on what beauty it has to offer me. So if you’re in Chicago and you have any suggestions, I’m all ears. By the way: I am always up for anything poetry-related, music-related , good-time related. Share this city with me. I’d really appreciate it if you could let me know, feel free to contact me at zanele.chisala@gmail.com .

 Yours,
Upile.

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California As Seen by Upile

Hey Guys,
I’m sorry for being so silent. I am in California visiting a friend hence there hasn’t been much time for internet and the like. But the good news is I missed you and I will upload a little teaser of the pictures that are to come. 🙂

The University of California at Riverside campus is very green and it has plants from all over the world. I saw so many trees and flowers there that I had in my yard in Malawi growing up. It made me miss home so badly. I picked up their leaves and smelled them and I was immediately back home playing in my yard. It was an amazing feeling.

 

More pictures to follow. Hold on tight. :).
Happy Saturday lovelies!!

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The Blue Door in Old Mesilla

Hola!
My dear friend , Katy, and I went out on a random excursion to old Mesilla. It is such a beautiful place filled with such culture and color. And it is a must-see if you are in the Cruces area. I promise you it is breathtaking. To quote the site http://www.oldmesilla.org

” Mesilla (“Little Tableland”) is the best-known and most visited historical community in Southern New Mexico. Since its’ beginning, around 1848, Mesilla has had a major influence on the economic, cultural, historical, and political life of the Mesilla Valley. From the Gadsden Purchase, to the Civil War, to the Butterfield Stage Coach Trail, to the trial of Billy the Kid, to being a lively social center in the 1880s–Mesilla has been a prominent part of the rich history of the Southwest.”

I loved our day of just walking around taking pretty pictures. It was great fun. This blue door was definitely a winner for us both. Took a great amount of pictures in front of it.  And here is one of Katy standing in front of it:

Hope you enjoyed the pictures.
Have awesome Sundays!!:)

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~To My Brother/Bestfriend~Happy Bday!

My Brother and I

 

We’ve grown up a perfect pair, two peas in a pod.
We get each other completely
And we’ve got each other forever
The perfect sister-brother team
I miss you and your loud dancehall music
I miss: The way you call me Beavis and I call you Butthead ♥.
The way you drive me crazy one second
and make me laugh until I cry the next.:)
The way you randomly tell me that you love me
and hug me when I least expect it.
The way you daily teach me so many things.
Just the way you are You. I miss it all.

20 years is no joke, its a milestone! Its the beginning of an adventure.!! Gome no one is like you. no one compares to you. I love you Big Brother!! ♥

God blessed me with such an amazing brother, this post is just for him. Oh how I love this one human madly.:)

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…Rainbow

I am the rainbow

in a sky of my own making

completely unware of  sadness

and unafraid of tears

I am the rainbow

catching a reflection of myself

in the lakes and in the eyes of daydreamers

and lovers

who dare to gaze up at me.

I am the rainbow

my colors visible and true

I shine some days

bright and open to all

but other days I tiptoe into the sky

disguised in the dreamy blue

masked by thick white clouds.

Not many notice me there

playing peekaboo with the select few that care

to search for me in the ocean of fluffy white clouds

the few who dash away from their fast-paced

lives and simply look up

for no reason in particular

just to look because they’d heard

it once before

they’d heard that a sky existed

and maybe even rainbows

and silver-lined clouds

and heaven allow stars and a moon

but had never had the time to raise their eyes

and find out for themselves.

I am a rainbow.

by Upile Chisala

written today.

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…Words in parts and pieces

 
Suddenly everything that ties you to the middle lets you go
And gravity loses its hold.
You are at peace, running dirty hands through dirty hair
Singing songs without lyrics or rhyme or composer
It was all straight from the depths of nowhere
But I lived for it.
And sang my lungs apart, gripping onto the one thing
that lead me
astray and to all things familiar,
my heart.
In the quest for my destiny I took a closer look
at my shoes, wherever they set down to chat with the ground
and tickle the spring-stained grass.
How they looked on my feet
as they guide me about and twirl me around on my axis
spinning like a world.
I spent time talking
and listening
and whispering
as I journeyed by
free as air.
I escaped the silence and the closed doors
the long lines and the bright lights
I escaped it all
finally
running and walking
and skipping
and singing that  lyricless song.
Thank you love and emotion
and breath for laying me down to sleep
under stars
and catching me on the brink of losing
it all before it was mine.
and I so I walk a little lighter
not following any lines or watching where
my shoes land.
Here I am world
having found what I was missing
and learnt to miss it less.
Here I am
the tiny grains of sand in my hair
the earthy after smell of imperfection
the lady with a whimsical smile
starring out at raindrops and wind.
Here I am
chasing the sunrays with my eyes
galloping, riding, flying.
I should know me by now.
And you won’t ever see me out crying on my own
with a broken heart and the tang of yesterday’s horror splashed across my face.
I swear you won’t catch me playing with the kind of fire that burns
or the kinda cold that chills you right down to your soul.
I learnt myself over
page by page.
Here I am.
by Upile Chisala
written today.
 
 
 
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Artistic Much?? ..

 

My friend, Lili, and I took some pictures today. Randomly random pictures, our first year at NMSU!!! College life when everyone is off campus enjoying their holiday and you are left alone. Enjoy!!

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Losing Your Faith

A few nights ago, for the first time in my life, I went to sleep without anyone to pray to. I toiled and turned in a hopeless bed with a million questions without a soul to ask them to. There was a hole in my chest, where my heavy heart had slipped out from and there wasn’t a soul to tell my troubles to. For the first time I went to sleep alone in world that was just yesterday filled. There I was with no religion, I’d lost it. I’d lost my faith, a chain of “why me”s had robbed me of it, the recurring sucker punches the universe gave me had finally knocked me down. It was paranoia that had fooled me into believing that there was anyone receiving my elongated prayers or watching my life. The rumour was true, no one was up there. Yet just that day’s yesterday He was so real to me, so alive. But Elvis had left the building folks without the slightest goodbye He had disappeared from some place He’d called home. A place where I addressed all my wishes to, a place where I sent all my burdens. That night I knew for sure my mail was gathering at the doorstep of a place once called Heaven.

A few nights ago I’d lost my faith, I’d lost each trace of it and knew not how to even begin a prayer. That night I’d lost it all, in a tiny fraction of second what was real to me was all a dream. And every night I closed my eyes, put my hands together and prayed I felt I had been merely playing house like a little child unaware of the difference between fairytale and reality. It slapped me across the face and my entire world came crumbling down, was it all make-believe? Had He finally abandoned me for all the wrong I’d done in the past, had it all accumulated until it was enough to buy him a ticket elsewhere and house him in a Heaven where someone else could appreciate Him?

I lost my faith for a single night but I felt all the emptiness in the world. Pangs in my heart and tears in my eyes, and all this bitterness in my mind. It was one of the sadness moments of my life, to have ever doubted the gracious Almighty God, to stray so far from home. I woke up repentant, begging for Him to come back but then just like that He whispered “Upile, I never left you. Even though you left me. I never will.” and the whole world made sense again. I understood then that my trials and tribulations, my troubles in this life were all tests, nothing would ever be perfect but I could make it through all these tests as long as I didn’t stray off into the darkness. We are all imperfect, sometimes we are so overwhelmed by all the wrong going on in your life that we find it hard to believe there is a higher power watching over us.  Keeping your faith is one of the world’s hardest things to do in a world were so much goes wrong, in an economy that leaves you wondering how you’ll afford to keep a roof over your head. It is difficult, but without faith you lose that special hand to help you through it all, that special connection with God that makes you stronger and lightens your burdens.

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Being A Friend

The complexities of friendship marvel me, there are times when you find yourself at a crossroads caught in the very middle where you don’t know how to forget your own woes (even for the slightest of moments) to put on a smile and celebrate your friend’s joys. I always fancied myself a good friend, a great friend and I even had the audacity to call myself a best friend. I thought I had it in me to even momentary put another human’s needs above my own. But the green monster is a persistent bastard, whenever I am down and a friend is at their life’s peak he finds his way to creep in and harden my heart.

It’s quite ironic though, I’ve been wanting to write a post about friendship for what seems like eons now and in it I would have described myself as the greatest friend you’ll find. You can hahaha to that because I would only have been setting myself up for the whimsical title of “Hypocrite!”. I don’t intend to babble about this and that and yada yada yada without you even being able to grasp what this post is about. This post, my friends (allow me to call you that), is here to tell you that life hands you Milk sometimes when you are lactose-intolerant and thirsty as a dried up river in a desert.

Friendship is one of the most challenging angles in life, making a friendship, maintaining it and staying true to it is one of the world’s most laborious fields. I thought I was capable of it all, juggling all my friends’ situations, helping them through their problems whilst all the while dealing with my own. I assumed it was easy and boy was I wrong. My name means Luck but it has never been specified what kind of luck it is, I presumed it was bad luck especially when I had to play chicken with someone dear to me and lost the battle. I could not deal with grieving for myself and at the exact same time yelling “Hooray!” for my friend. My best friend, a person who has always been my side through thick, thin and ugly. A person who celebrates my achievements as her own and mourns until her heart breaks when I mourn. The person who would never be cocky enough to announce to the world that she is the greatest friend on Earth though she truly is. Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury I cried , I cried and cried and cried until the magnitude of tears my body could ever produce had dampened my entire room. A concoction of pain and pleasure mixed and mixed in my heart until they balanced out and I was officially zombified.

Life had just handed me the greatest test of my morals, the greatest test of my character, the greatest test of my friendship. And I cursed the universe in every language I knew for what it had just left in my lap. An invisible audience was watching me in my arena of sadness and joy wondering what my next move would be. A move that would define me, my future relationships and how willing I was to go for another human. And brother envy was lurking in the shadows of my mind. Either I would sit on my lonesome licking at my wounds, trying to hold back loose tears, asking ‘why me?’ and wondering exactly when the universe pledged to forever be my enemy or I could chin up, forget myself entirely and celebrate the victory of my best friend. This was more complex than it sounds, I know it should have been a snap decision for me to bury all my woes and smile for mon amie but it was a little hard. Then it occurred to me, I’m only 16, people say my life has barely begun and its true. I am allowed to have my shortcomings as a friend as a human as a daughter, etc but what I also learnt was I am expected to learn. Balancing emotions takes a while to master but it is something we all have to learn to deal with. And then I realized how many times my best friend had put her life aside for me, how many times she’d been by my side whether or not I deserved it. I thought and reminisced and examined every detail since I first encountered this amazing human and it came to me, “Screw me and my woes”. So I did exactly that and now I can laugh at the marvellous lesson life put on my lap because I Aced it!

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